My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
