We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
