I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
