So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
