she smelled like a LAN party
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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