He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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