We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
