Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
