Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
