He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
