brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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