Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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