considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
