WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
