the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
