Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just want to make out with him forever
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
