I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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