i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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