physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you didnt know i had herpes?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
