help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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