i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
