My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
