The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Someone shattered a urinal.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
