I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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