did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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