why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
