I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize