I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i now understand why vodka
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
