PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
