i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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