I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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