How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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