I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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