She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
