How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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