Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
