I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
