it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
