Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
