i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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