Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Are we still banned from the library?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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