Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How external is "for external use only"?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
