dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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