I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
