I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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