Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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