i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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