so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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