I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
