I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
