Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
