just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
