some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize