Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
