I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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