Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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