At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
