You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
