I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
