Non-Jews are for practice
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
