you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
