Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
