A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
