If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
