She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
