that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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