i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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